Plans

I like to think that I can live by improvisation; but for the most part, I’m a planner. A list maker. I dream, forecast, and anticipate all that God has in store for me. What makes life so great right now, is that the next year is so unpredictable.

And why is that?

I’ve successfully completed the Graduate Requisite Exam. And let’s use the word ‘successful’ flexibly. Successful meaning: it’s done, over with, and I will no longer have to forego my lunch hour at work to study the ratio of an isosceles right triangle (thank you Kaplan study guide). It’s over. I now have numbers to fill in boxes on graduate school applications.

Is my mind fully set on grad school? No. But it’s an option. And if there’s one thing I love about life, it’s the multitude of opportunities that we are given to experience something different.

Is my mind fully set on sticking with my current career, and continuing my climb up the corporate ladder? No. But the income is there, and I am satisfied for the time being.

Is my mind fully set on packing up and leaving for England permanently? No. But that’s why I’m going to London for the next few weeks – alone - to see if I can really do it on my own (less the nurturing staff at UCL, and less my roommates). I’ll be sure to let you know how that one goes.

So I guess that answers the questions that many of you have asked me over the past several months. Why? Why go to grad school when it’s not required of you? Why leave a promising career? Why not stay in California?

Because… I’ve just never desired to be a person without options; with no alternatives. I’m a lifetime learner. I’m a lifetime developer. Innovator. Experimenter. Explorer. And God has yet to give me a reason to stay.

When Lamar (a good friend and coworker of mine) found out that I was toying with the idea of leaving the company, he stated, “If it don’t make no money, it don’t make no sense.”

To which I replied, “Did you just quote Tupac?”

But for me, it’s never been about the money. Okay, that’s a lie. I’m not that profound. But really, money can only satisfy you to a certain degree. You really need to be doing what you love to do.

Right now, I love what I do. But who’s to say that I’ll love it three months down the line? I can plan all I want, but my emotions and my desires are completely, without a doubt, unpredictable.