Introducing

Samara Lysanne Arenas



And so, as Timmy puts it, my "sidekick" is gone.

There’s always been a deep chasm between she and I ~ and for that reason, my heart feels the piercing impact of losing Helen's company more profoundly than does my mind. Now that she's gone, I am made far more susceptable to the anguish of being single. Haha. Have fun in Japan!

Epiphany

Epiphany:
what was once core-shaking
heart-pounding memory-making
is now the quiver of a leaf
and the softest sigh
of avoiding collision

The approaching holiday awakens an ambivalence of emotions within me. Reminding me of moments that I am able to recollect to the most minute of details. I can still feel the change of season on my skin ~ the rain which left diamonds in my hair has long dried, but the feel of wet socks embracing numb toes has taken definite form in my mind. A collection of fine details laced with excitement and appreciation.

I loooong for a bed of Autumn leaves. I wish California had seasons.

London Reunion 2005

The grace and laughter of the past is the ideal source for ultimate reassurance. It is the bungee cord tied to our waste, and the foam underneath our bare feet, giving us the heart to close our eyes and leap into the arms of tomorrow’s uncertainty. It is the memory of faces we’ve seen, voices that compose the tone of knee slapping laughter, and the souls of those who were on our side that serve as constant reminders of how important it is to never forget the path we took to get to where we are.

Venturing into the unknown could have been a risky and taxing habit on the mind and body, but we journeyed uncharted territories anyway, letting ourselves swim in choices that made ‘what was possible’ ~ real. So when reunited, it becomes so natural to stop for one night, look back, and relive the moments when we’d fallen in love (against our soundest judgment, it happened nonetheless), had a pint, then studied for finals.

A night to entangle ourselves on a platter of New Castles and Berry Mimosas, while allowing ourselves to look back and gain perspective on the choices that we made ~ acknowledging the shared understanding that the past is an intricate part of the present. Realizing that our time together wasn’t a fluke. We were a cluster of bodies destined to cross paths in a network of fate, experiencing emotions we were destined to experience… together.

Helen and I circled LAX a wopping 8 times. The final eigth round involved me sticking my "Shalom welcome to our home Jodi" sign outside of Helen's car, and obnoxiously screaming JODI JODI while we played #4 on Natasha Bedingfield's Unwritten CD. After a K-Town feast, we presented Helen with her going-to-Japan presents, sang karaoke, and headed to Alcatraz Brewery to reunite with some London folk.

Bonnie McKee - Somebody

"November 07, 2005 - You're ready for inconvenient, total, can't-live-without-each-other love, and you're not the only one. Let the Universe guide you; it may take you where you think you're going, but you'll be happy once you've arrived."

UNIVERSE, I IMPLORE YOU, GUIDE ME! GUIDE ME!

Picture

Reality, like the lurking serpent, had bitten back hard.

She sat there with a smug look on her face, trying to conceal the cold and epistemological truth that these pictures had taken all of her crimson-tinted illusions and thrown them away like ashes in the wind.

Funny how she discovers a final candid snapshot. One she herself had never seen before until now. Scanning the crowd in the photo, she saw herself, and the smile ~ so genuine, pure, impromptu ~ perched, not on her face, but his. And oh how every delicious emotion began to come back to her. He looked happy. She looked happy.

But she knew, that this photo, while true to time, was very outdated. She knew it was time to turn the page. That regardless of the passion backed by each savory bite, to continue to lust for him was tantamount to a delicious morsel of forbidden fruit.

And so, to rebel from committing a sin served only to betray herself, she began to dilute her thoughts with other things: career, material things. This is the start, she thought, of letting him go.

Haroweena!

Halloween, by far, is one of my favorite holidays. Candy corn conduced by the stir of a witch’s cauldron fills me with exquisite joy so wrenching, and youthfully intense. There must be something potent in that elixir...

The garage serves as archive for the library of costumes I’ve collected through the years. Proof, that even as a child, I would never allow memorable moments to pass me by. Especially the one night a year where it was communally acceptable to careen down a sloped neighborhood runway called Walnut St; not really having to look both ways because everyone filled the pavement like stars filled the sky. The one night a year where my older brother and I would trade candy while mom took pictures of us pouring heaven out of our jack-o-lantern treat buckets. Candy that we thought would last us eons would be gone by November 2nd.

You’d think at age 22, I’d be somewhat over the front porch fog machines and strobe lights. But no. I’m sure that at 32, I’ll use the essence of my future children’s youth to justify the decorations I will hang, the pumpkin I will carve.

This year was to be a big hoorah! Since I didn’t celebrate Halloween last year, I wanted to surround myself with reckless hooligans, costumed fiends, and the best homemade getup EVER. So without haste, my dear friend Helen and I planned out an itinerary to attend party after party. I was sure to get some good use out of my costume that consumed 3 full days of my hard labor, and $14 worth of pleather and vinyl. Drumroll please...

Photo: Tada!

THEN, on October 31st, we took our giddy selves down to West Hollywood Carnaval. Yes, that's carnaval with an A! BIG MISTAKE. Why? Well, let's just say that it's no place for a group of single gals to gallivant without the accompaniment of some strong men. We were too sober to be there. Too normal to be there. Catherine spotted Andy Dick; and may I say, a dick he was. I can only thank God that we stopped chasing him for a picture. Otherwise he may have bitten us.